my satellite (shine on me tonight)
by Tiara of Sapphires
Summary: The long-awaited sequel to carnivore, carnivore in which consequences catch up with Sara and change everything.
1. Genesis

**Y'all wanted some motherfuckin babies, you got some motherfuckin babies. And this got A LOT more feelsy and angsty than I had planned…**

 **PS, Hoooooly crap thank you all so much for all the love I got for the first installment! I'm blown away!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

"Sara."

She started with the faintest twitch as the voice sounded over the private channel. She had dozed off, mind drifting, as she stood at the bridge.

The stars took her attention from where they idled just outside of Aya's orbit.

Her blunt nails resumed a rhythmless tapping on the console.

"Yeah?"

SAM didn't use her given name often, no matter how many times she told him that it was okay to refer to her as 'Sara' and not 'Pathfinder' when they were in private.

Now for him to just use that out of the blue was definitely something that caught her attention.

There was a pause for a beat, a bit longer. Hesitation. And SAM wasn't often hesitant.

"SAM," she pressed, "What is it?"

"I am detecting unusual levels of human chorionic gonadotropin in your blood."

Sara blinked. It wasn't like she expected SAM to beat around the bush regarding whatever he had to say, but that blunt fact was shocking and incomprehensible.

"Uh, I don't know what that is, SAM. Layman's terms, please."

Another pause.

"It is a hormone produced by the human body when a fertilized embryo attaches to the uterus. I am detecting it in your body."

She opened her mouth and shut it, his words sinking in. Still not exactly layman's terms, but she got his meaning. And the world tilted, enough that Sara reached out and gripped console for balance.

"So, that means?" she squeaked, just needing the creeping truth told to her.

A cold sweat spread over her skin.

"I believe it means you are pregnant."

Right.

She turned on her heel, Suvi's concerned question falling on deaf ears.

The short path from the bridge to her quarters was travelled as if on autopilot. If Liam said anything when she passed him before ducking into her room, she didn't hear it. The door closed on his trailed-off words.

"Lock the door. No access," Sara exhaled.

Her chest felt tight, too tight, a rush of blood in her ears.

"Are you sure, SAM? Are you positive?"

"I am."

Sara shucked off her jacket and rolled up her shirt to reveal the relatively flat plane of her stomach.

"I suppose congratulations are in order," SAM said.

There was some kind of inflection in his voice, something she couldn't identify. He was learning. And this was definitely something new for both of them.

Sara tried to laugh and made more of a choked noise.

Maybe he couldn't gauge her reaction.

She couldn't either.

Elation, fear, anxiety.

She yanked her shirt back over her stomach. It was foolish to try looking for a difference. She knew that nothing would be noticeable yet, if the child—the embryo—had literally just _embedded_ in her body. Gods, SAM just _had_ to make it sound like she was afflicted by some kind of freaky parasite.

It was likely only a few dozen cells large, won't get big enough to make it obvious for a while. Not that she could remember anything from biology or sex-ed when her mind was swirling.

She was pregnant. With Jaal's child.

And then there was the panic, enough to turn her knees to jelly. She sat down on her bed, leaning heavily on her knees.

Sara wasn't an expert in biology, but she was good enough to know that this wasn't, shouldn't have been possible.

She wasn't asari. She shouldn't have been able to even get close to being pregnant by someone of another species.

And yet…if what SAM was saying was true, she _was_.

Pregnant.

It wasn't like she hadn't _thought_ about the idea. A flight of fancy while in a sex hormone-induced craze, the strangely primal desire to bear her angara partner children. It had been nice to imagine at the time, incredibly hot, even, though she knew it wasn't going to happen.

And yet…

"How is this possible?" she whispered.

"Perhaps interfacing with Remnant technology over long periods of time altered your DNA, making you genetically compatible with angara."

"Can that happen?"

"The Jardaan were able to create an entire sentient species capable of reproduction. It is unlikely that their ability to manipulate life would be so limited as to your pre-existing genome."

Sara cringed, not really liking the idea of an alien technology worming its way into her cells and fucking with her DNA.

"Coupled with Jaal's mating heat and the way it altered your hormones, your body became incredibly fertile, increasing the chances for conception exponentially."

A scoff. That was just a cascade of things that brought her to where she was at that moment.

Well, she supposed in the end it didn't matter how this happened. It happened.

"What do I do?" she whispered.

"You have options."

Genetic differences aside, she was Pathfinder, dealing with countless issues. She barely had time to keep up her relationship with Jaal in the first place, much less have a child.

Activating Meridian and taking down the Archon did much to alleviate the workload, but still. She had a hundred and one things to deal with.

Gods, how was the Initiative going to react to this? Both the fact that their human Pathfinder got herself knocked up and that a human was able to get pregnant by a Heleus race.

If there was a viable child—the possibility for more—between a Milky Way and Andromeda species, it would be hope for the future, ensured survival for at least two species.

'Viable' was the caveat. Sara didn't know if this pregnancy was going to end in the next couple minutes or days or weeks or months with no child.

Fear made her hiccup, tears burning in her eyes.

Right. She couldn't get her hopes up.

"Options, huh?"

Fingers drummed on her knee.

"Yes," SAM mused. "You could keep the child. It would likely require an above-average amount of prenatal care. Or—."

"I'm…gonna keep it," Sara spoke up, too loudly, cutting SAM off.

She didn't want to hear what else he had to say.

A lovely possibility. A bundle in her arms, probably wailing and screaming, human and not. Squishy and soft and vulnerable.

Hers.

But, it was a possibility, she wasn't certain that this was going to happen.

She amended, "Try to keep it, at least."

"I understand."

She glanced down at her stomach and back at the closed door. Hopefully, suspicions hadn't been raised by her behavior.

If anyone else other than SAM talked to her right now, this new secret would come spilling out. There was no question about that. Gods, especially if Jaal came knocking at her door, full of love and concern.

The father of her child. Their child.

Every fiber of her being wanted to jump up and tell him.

"Should I wait to tell Jaal?"

"You fear you will miscarry?"

Just the word said aloud made her throat burn. It was like she had swallowed broken glass.

"Well, I just conceived, didn't I?" she whispered.

"Yes. Approximately an hour ago."

"And there is a chance that this will just not work out."

"It is a possibility, just as with any regular pregnancy. Typically, it is within the first three months after conception where the risk is greatest."

Sara rubbed her face with her hands.

Of course, three months, ninety days. And it could be even longer for this kind of pregnancy.

"You are strong, Sara. You have traversed this new galaxy and done many things no one else could do.

"If anyone could do this, it is you. You _can_ do this."

She smiled slightly, just a twitch of the mouth, feeling a bit warm on the inside.

"I'm not getting Jaal's hopes up only to miscarry within the hour," she said, the choice clear in her mind.

"Very well."

"Tell him without my permission and I will tear out my implant with my bare hands. Clear?"

This time, there was no delay in SAM answering.

"Of course."

…

 **Angst-fest, right? Not to worry, things will get better soon. Maybe. Probably.**

 **All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Come say hi on my Tumblr and drop a Jaal/Sara prompt in my inbox until June 21 7pm PST! tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	2. Isolation

**Thanks so much for the lovely feedback on Chapter 1! Gives me great motivation to update ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

Sara was distracted. Correction: she was really, _really_ fucking distracted.

Every time her mind wandered, which was more often than usual, she thought on the child and the road she took that got to her where she was.

Four days, a muddied cloud of fire and electricity and hormones that made her as desperate for him as he was for her. The fourth day had been a surprise, the metaphorical sun rising to Jaal's head between her legs and his hips grinding into the mattress as he ate her out.

The tail-end of day two was the first time Sara had managed to peel Jaal off of her enough to leave her room and get some food from the galley and make sure nothing was exploding on the ship. She faced concerned clucking and questions from the rest of the crew the moment she stepped out, which she deserved. Apparently, her having SAM keep them in the dark had been a bad idea.

Her bruised mouth had been the only visible sign to the crew. She made sure to wear a high-collared shirt to hide the hickeys and bites that adorned her throat.

She had to tell them, of course. They had been idling in Eos's orbit for two days without any explanation.

She told them the truth. Well, a censored version of the truth.

And that truth had the rest of the _Tempest's_ occupants exasperated (Vetra, Peebee, Kallo), smug (Liam, Cora, Drack, Suvi), or creepily interested (Lexi).

Ha, ha, the Pathfinder had no choice but get her rocks off with her boyfriend for days on end. Ha, ha, hormones and aliens. Hilarious.

But it wasn't so funny when the brass on the Nexus were having collective coronaries over the fact that SAM had been rerouting messages and vid-calls meant for Sara to Cora with the simple and vague explanation of 'Pathfinder Ryder is indisposed at the moment'. Tann and company had assumed that meant Sara had been injured.

Everyone on the _Tempest_ was inclined to let them believe that.

Lexi had taken a vial of her blood during the third day the moment Sara stepped out of her room, insisting on getting some of Jaal's blood too.

"For science," she had said.

Sara heard Lexi murmuring about the various tests she was going to run as she retreated back to her room. It had been almost humiliating, that she was scuttling back to her bedroom to a horny boyfriend. Not only did Jaal need her, Sara needed him. It was like an itch under her skin, her need for him.

It was almost humiliating.

 _Almost_.

Speaking of Lexi, Sara planned on avoiding the asari like the plague since SAM's pregnancy revelation, metaphorically speaking.

She knew that if she gave Lexi a shadow of a reason to believe something out of the ordinary was happening, Lexi would hound her, even turn the rest of the crew against her to get her into the med-bay.

SAM became her de facto doctor, sampled her blood and scanned her abdomen, just to double-check what he had picked up through the implant.

The mix of hormones and the little lump of cells whose DNA didn't fully belong to her confirmed it.

She was, indeed, pregnant. There was nothing that she could deny. And if SAM could pick it up, Lexi could too.

And Sara wasn't ready to reveal it to _anyone_.

"Could you make it so it seems like I'm sick?" Sara asked. "Manipulate my body a little, maybe hack into Lexi's tools?"

"Yes. It would be a simple task."

Sara nodded at nothing where she sat in her room. She did that a lot, holing herself in her room for hours at a time, even before the pregnancy. Now, it was her sanctuary and her opportunity to make gameplans with her AI.

"Pathfinder business', she'd claim for the benefit of the rest of the crew.

But Lexi was the clear and present issue.

"Would you rather make it seem you have a stomach virus or a cold?"

A nervous tapping on her knee. It had been a day since the revelation. While she had been content with just winging her way through keeping this secret, it because quickly evident that it wasn't possible.

"A stomach virus would be easier to fake, right?"

"Yes. But it would seem suspicious if your symptoms are debilitating for more than three days."

Sara covered her face and sighed.

Fuck, keeping this secret was a lot more difficult than she had anticipated.

SAM could occlude damning evidence from Lexi, from everyone. And all Sara had to do was make herself seem as normal as possible.

By the end of this, she could become a master deflector. She liked telling the truth, so this would be a learning process.

"Do it," she said.

When she went to the med-bay complaining of stomach pain and vomiting, she lied and lied and SAM tricked and manipulated.

Lexi prescribed light meals and a syrup that Sara wasn't planning on taking.

Sara stole a whole bottle of prenatal vitamins from med-bay—SAM clued her in on where it was—before Lexi could notice on her way out.

Sara had no idea _why_ Lexi would have that sort of thing just laying around, but it wasn't like she could ask.

She just smuggled the bottle out, read the instructions and took the dose as written.

The odds were stacked against her for this pregnancy, as far as she knew. If she could skew those odds in her favor, even just a little, she would.

If she lost the child to circumstances out of her control, fine. She accepted that.

But she would do her damnedest to keep her child alive.

...

It was torture, keeping this secret.

And honestly it was a miracle she was able to keep this eiroch-size piece of information between her and SAM for as long as she did. Just about every conversation was a battle to keep her damn mouth shut. Every time she spoke to anyone on the _Tempest_ , she felt like she was choking on her words. She wanted to tell someone, anyone.

She got within an inch of telling Tann of all people in a fit of frustration (because gods help her the bureaucrat refused to see outside his racist and self-aggrandizing view of the world no matter how many kett she killed or how many allies she pulled onto the Initiative's side) but reeled herself in at the last moment.

The only two people who knew about it were her and SAM, making her very much alone in this.

Vid-calls with Scott were difficult. He was doing well with his physical therapy, though still dejected over being near-crippled by the coma.

She wanted to tell him that he might be an uncle. Her mouth stayed shut.

And speaking with Jaal under any circumstance was excruciating.

He loved her so much, more than any partner she had ever had before. He took every opportunity to show it, in small, quiet ways, and in large, bombastic ways.

Every time he touched her, gave her words of endearment, even looked at her, her stomach clenched and she'd find an excuse to extract herself from him as quickly as possible.

He was a reminder and though she knew she was hurting him by pushing him away, she didn't know what else to do.

It ate her up on the inside, keeping this huge secret pertaining to him. Something he would want to know, because she knew how important family was to the angara. She already knew that someday Jaal would want a family of his own, whether biological or even perhaps adopted.

Now she had this possibility for him of family, biological family. A possibility that was getting more and more likely as the days progressed.

But she didn't say anything.

…

Day fifteen came with a knock at her door.

SAM had just told her that he could feel the child's heart beating now, a tiny faint sound that she couldn't hear but it was enough that an AI could.

Her hands wiped at her knees, joy and fear filled her in tandem.

The heart was beating. The child had a working heart.

Her instinct was to tell whoever it was to go away. But it had become increasingly clear that the rest of the people on the _Tempest_ were getting suspicious of her behavior.

She relished her private time to begin with, in fact, she needed it to prevent herself from going insane with all the things coming at her at once. But, this was getting to an excessive amount.

She knew it. Even SAM had warned her that people were beginning to get suspicious.

"Jaal is at the door. And from what I heard between him and Liam, I predict he is not going to leave any time soon," SAM said.

Fuck. There was no hiding from that. And she had a feeling SAM was going to let him in whether she liked it or not.

"Let him in," Sara said, standing up.

Their child had a heartbeat.

"Jaal, hi," she greeted, sounding hesitant and stilted even to her ears, when he stepped into the room.

The father of her child. That child had a heartbeat. Alive, so, so alive.

"Sara. My love," he replied, all affection.

He came to her and she bounced on her toes to peck a light kiss on the lips. A tentative grin, forced closeness. Keeping appearances for no one.

"How—how are you?" she asked.

The hesitation, wavering at the edge of a cliff. He didn't look at all convinced by her attempt at conversation.

"I have been well. Liam and I have been working on the Nomad."

She nodded. It was good her team continued to work and mesh together.

He held out his hands, the picture of affection and concern, and she could help but put her hands on his, letting him hold her in this small way. He was warm and solid and she was melting.

She was crumpling.

"Is something wrong, my darling?" he asked. A squeeze on her hands. If he shifted his hands around her wrists, he would feel her pulse racing.

A swallow around a lump, everything wavering around her.

Angara hid their illnesses well. She could hide her weakness just as well. She was good at letting herself fade into the background and letting her emotions be hers and no one else's. Her anger, her sorrow, her grief, her fear.

Now she felt pinned, exposed.

Their child had a heartbeat.

"You have been distant the past several days. You don't look me in the eyes and flinch away from me."

Fuck, she couldn't do this. He was too earnest and too sad, how could she lie to him?

Her eyes fell to where his hands cradled hers. She couldn't say anything. There was the instinct to recoil from him and protect her secret.

 _Their_ secret, really, if she just got herself together for once in her fucking life and just spat it out.

Fifteen days after implantation. A heartbeat.

There was still the chance this wasn't going to work out. She might end up losing the child and all of these hopes would've been for nothing and their hearts would be broken.

But still, she was being unfair to him, being curt with him and shoving him away.

"Did—did I do something wrong?" he whispered.

She shook her head, genuine sorrow crushing her chest. Of course, he blamed himself.

He had blamed himself when the hormones had cleared weeks ago, back when things were still fairly simple. He had begged for forgiveness for something that didn't need forgiving.

It was biology, not his fault.

And she liked it. She made sure he knew that. Then he smiled and they moved on.

But it still followed them. It would now follow them for the rest of their lives, for good or ill.

He blamed himself then, he blamed himself now.

Technically he did do _something_ , perhaps not something wrong. They both did. If they had only used birth control, condoms, _anything_ , she wouldn't be in this position.

"No, no. You're perfect, Jaal. It's just—."

Words caught in her throat again.

The moment she told someone else was the moment that this became real. This wasn't just some concept cooked up between her and SAM, confirmed by blood tests and a bioscan.

This would become very real, all of it.

Jaal deserved to be the first to know.

Her lip shook, tears building blindingly in her eyes.

He was too close, this secret ballooning between them. She hated it.

"Fuck," she whispered. "I'm—

Sara leaned forward to rest her forehead on the center of his chest. He had been working in engineering. He smelled like oil and smoke, a strange juxtaposition to the lotions and perfumes he used.

She flinched when his hands rested on her lower back. It was supposed to be warm and anchoring, and it was, in some way. But she wanted to crawl out of her skin at the same time.

"I'm pregnant," Sara said in a rush.

Immediately, she sagged against him and braced for impact. He inhaled sharply, shock making his body shake against her.

"Pregnant? How—how?"

She couldn't read his voice. Blood was rushing in her ears.

Surprise? Suspicion?

"I don't know!" Sara exclaimed, betting on the latter. "It must've been—I don't know. SAM has his theories on how this happened."

SAM remained silent.

"But it's yours. There's no way it isn't," she said.

There really wasn't.

"I know we didn't plan this. I'm sorry."

He cupped her face in his hands and she finally shut her mouth, finally looking up to his face.

"What is there to be sorry about?" he asked.

He was breathless, exhilarated. Like after a victory, only without the risk of dying.

"How far along are you?"

That was the first question he asked?

She felt too big for her skin, but in a good way. No anger from Jaal. Only happiness, a desire to know and understand.

"I've known for fifteen days. SAM said its heart is beating now."

He laughed, a happy thing.

"Really? Already?"

His voice was suddenly thick and that was when Sara realized there were tears tracking down his face. Sara sniffed wetly in response and rubbed her eyes.

"Stop crying, you're making me cry!" she said.

"Why? I'm crying because I'm happy."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then the bridge of her nose.

And they laughed. They laughed through tears and swayed in place where they held each other, like they were dancing

"You are incredible," Jaal whispered. "No matter how this miracle happened. You are the most incredible woman I have had the privilege of loving."

Sara caught his mouth with hers.

She loved him. She loved him so goddamn much she felt like she was going to explode with it.

Why didn't she tell him sooner? Why did she draw out this pain for days and days when they could've experienced the first couple weeks together?

But she supposed it didn't matter now. He knew and they were together and it was perfect and their child had a fucking _heartbeat_.

"I love you too, Jaal. I'm sorry I kept this from you."

"You were afraid. I understand that. But I am overjoyed."

His hands left where they pressed on her back to rest over her abdomen.

"Right here. Our child is right here."

Sara nodded, covering his hands with hers.

Still no evidence of a bump, not long enough along that there would be anything. She squashed the doubts that threatened to rise up. There would be time to ruminate over that later. She deserved a win, for once.

"I already know you will be a wonderful mother, Sara."

She couldn't imagine what their child would look like yet, but she knew the child would be loved by both of them. Gods, Jaal would dote on their child.

"And you'll be a great dad, Jaal."

He stepped back half a step and Sara couldn't help but reach up and wipe some tears away from his face. They were happy tears, sure, but she still didn't like seeing them.

"I want to meet our child," Jaal said, pausing with a grin. " _Our_ child. I love the sound of it."

She liked the sound of it too, especially on his lips.

Their child. She was the mother of his child. He was the father of her child. A real family.

With a clumsy movement, Jaal knelt down in front of her, hands on her hips and pulling her forward. Then his hand pushed up her shirt until her skin was bared.

He leaned forward and rested his ear against her stomach.

"Jaal?" Sara asked, a strange joyous feeling making her dizzy.

He shushed her and she obediently kept her mouth shut for a few seconds before saying, "I don't think you can hear it yet, Jaal. I don't think your hearing is _that_ good."

"I know, dearest one. But I'm imagining that I can. I'm sure it's a strong heartbeat."

He pressed a kiss on her stomach before looking back up at her. His eyes were still bright and shiny, like he was still holding back tears.

Sara grinned down at him, blinking back tears of her own.

A mischievous quirk on Jaal's mouth was the only warning Sara got before he had hooked one arm behind her knees, the other braced on her back, her feet leaving the ground.

They laughed together as he carried her the short distance to her— _their_ , really—bed before gently setting her down on the covers.

Jaal rested between her spread legs, kissing a trail of fire across her jaw and down her throat.

"I don't think you can get me any more pregnant than I already am," she giggled, breath hitching when teeth nibbled at her pulse point.

Sara realized how much she missed this. Keeping this distance between them in her attempt at keeping this a secret had been just as much a session of self-flagellation as it was anything else.

Now he knew and she felt better. Like she could do this.

"Perhaps. But this is a reason of celebration, yes?"

His hands skimmed up and down her sides, eager, as she sighed a 'yes.'

Yeah, time for celebrating.

…

 **All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Come say hi on my Tumblr tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	3. Convergence

**Chapter 3: Convergence**

 **OML EVERYONE IS SO KIND IM DEAD**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

Sara couldn't stifle a laugh, which was an odd thing to do flat on her back with Jaal pressed between her legs.

"You know, I might've lied," she giggled, "You might be able get me pregnant again while I'm still pregnant."

He rolled his hips in a way that really ought to have been illegal and her laugh turned quickly into a moan.

When Jaal wanted to celebrate, he really did mean celebration. Sara could bet it was only for her sake that he wasn't shouting and running around the Tempest telling everyone in existence that Sara was pregnant, that he was going to be a father.

This was nice, just the two of them, well, the three of them. There was never enough time for privacy in almost a month. They had to make up for the four days of near-absolute privacy, meaning working double-time and keeping their hands off of each other.

And then there was all that wasted time she spent keeping him at arm's length.

This wasn't just a celebration, this was a recommitment. And Sara put her whole heart into it.

She hooked her legs around his hips to pull him closer.

He was so good to her, for her. Never selfish, always exploring and finding new ways to make her feel good. She wanted to fall into him.

"Jaal," she whispered.

He rubbed tiny circles on her hips as he kept her pressed to the mattress. He was doing all the work, looming over her, pumping into her with a constant rhythm.

"You are exquisite," Jaal said.

He pressed a trail of kisses down her throat until he stopped to tuck his face in the space between her neck and shoulder.

"The mother of my child."

She smiled at that. It was something she loved hearing and probably would never get tired of hearing.

Her fingers roamed over his back, over the folds in the back of his head. She was rewarded by a jarring thrust, grinding and perfect.

Jaal's breath washed over her skin, labored. She felt surrounded, all muscle and fragrance.

If what she read on pregnancy—and she did a lot of that in a frantic scramble for information—was correct, there might come a time where hormones would have him at _her_ beck and call for sex. That would be fun. She couldn't call it revenge, how could it be revenge if they both enjoyed it?

One day, she would be too big for them to have sex like this. It would be like having sex with a watermelon between them.

They would have to improvise. Maybe, he would turn her to her side and press against her back. Her stomach clenched at the idea, drawing a whimper out of her mouth.

She looked up and their eyes met. Jaal's pupils were blown wide and his cheeks were colored with a blush.

He was beautiful.

Sara braced herself on her arms, leaning up to kiss him. Jaal licked into her mouth, the kiss immediately passionate and filthy.

When Jaal's hand slipped between them, it was over.

Sara came with a shiver, almost curling forward with it. Jaal fell off the precipice shortly after, his release dripping out of her folds.

He kissed her everywhere he could reach as pulled out. The hand not bracing him over her didn't leave where it rested on her stomach, like he didn't want to let go.

"I can see it now."

Gentle and warm, skimmed over her abdomen.

"Full with child, our child."

She sighed, satisfied, boneless.

She said, "I love that thought. It'll take a while, though."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"The wait will be worth it. Our child will be beautiful, just like you."

She blushed. She never got used to that, being told she was beautiful.

He eased off of her and flopped next to her.

They were quiet for a while, just listening to each other breathe.

"We have to tell my mothers. And your brother. And the rest of the crew."

She sighed, drooping against him.

"We do. I just...don't want to go too quickly with this. SAM said—"

She tucked her face against his chest. There was the fear again, chasing the numbing buzz of her orgasm almost instantly.

"He said that the first 3 months are the most dangerous. It's only been half a month. It's why I didn't tell you right away."

Yeah, the post-coital bliss disappeared, like it never happened. She wasn't sure if being super emotional was a symptom of her pregnancy or what. She had assumed it was too early for that sort of thing.

Her mouth turned in a trembling frown, glad her face was still close to his chest so he couldn't see her expression.

"You were— _are_ afraid."

His hand cupped her chin, pulling her back until he could see her face. She bit her lip and forced down the tears that wanted to spill over. Tears of fear, not happiness.

She laughed with a mirth she didn't feel.

They were just getting right to the core of this, weren't they?

"I've been afraid since SAM told me. There's no science, no precedence for this. We're flying blind. We don't—there's no certainty that this will work out."

He sat up to lay on his back, collecting her until she rested on his chest. His arms wrapped around her, like he was an anchor, something constant, something that was never going to leave.

"Have hope, Sara. You are strong. You are the strongest person I know."

She smiled shakily. SAM had said something similar, but it felt different coming out of Jaal's mouth.

"Our child will live. I know it."

The words rumbled in his chest, a visceral promise. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"But if you don't want to tell everyone now, I will respect your wishes."

"We could tell a few people," Sara relented hesitantly, "Scott. Your mother Sahuna. Maybe the crew."

Jaal chuckled, something she felt as much as she heard.

"Once my mothers know, all of Havarl and Aya will know and soon the entire cluster will know. They get very excited about grandchildren."

She could imagine. Their child was going to be loved. Not just by the Tempest crew, but by an entire family on Jaal's side.

It was a comforting thought.

"Okay," she conceded, "How about we give it two weeks. Then we tell everyone."

His arms squeezed around her.

"Together?"

"Yeah. Together."

Silence fell again and Sara thought Jaal had fallen asleep before he sniffed with distaste.

"I don't like the idea of telling those politicians of yours."

 _That_ elicited a grin. He had his opinions of many things, never afraid to tell them plainly to her. He had his opinions on the Nexus leadership, often overlapping with hers.

Sara mused, "Kesh and Kandros are probably the best to tell first on the Nexus. I don't want to have this conversation with Tann or Addison."

She shuddered at the idea. Tann would immediately call for a replacement human Pathfinder before the whole the announcement left Sara's lips and Addison would likely look down on her like she was some irresponsible teenager who got herself knocked up.

Sara was twenty-two—nearly twenty-three—and carried the fate of a fucking star cluster on her shoulders. She wouldn't stand to be patronized.

Those two could find out via the grapevine for all she cared.

She lifted her head to lightly peck the skin she was lying on before resting again.

"I should tell Lexi, shouldn't I? Before anyone else. Like, soon, today."

She didn't actually move to do so and Jaal didn't move where his hands wrapped around her. In fact, they tightened a bit more.

"Yes. But, later. You are tired, my love, and I wish to hold you for a few more hours."

…

She slept, not realizing how tired she was until she rested in Jaal's arms.

After waking up and showering, Sara went to the med-bay. People saw her go in, but there was no reason for anyone on the Tempest except for Jaal to think anything out of the ordinary of it.

A check-up, a psych-eval. They could hypothesize all they wanted.

Needless to say, Sara was nervous. The whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing made it so it was unethical for Lexi to say anything outside of the med-bay walls. But she had no idea how the asari was going to react to the news.

She found the doctor alone, poring over one report or another, and let the door close behind her.

"Hey, Doc. Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Lexi, accommodating as always, set down her datapad and turned her full attention to Sara.

"Of course. What can I help you with?"

Sara shifted where she stood.

"You know a while ago I asked you about a stomach bug?"

Lexi didn't need to look at a datapad to remember. She only had a handful of patients and a good memory. She could probably recall every injury Sara ever had.

"A stomach _virus_ , yes. Are you still having issues?"

Nerves, again. Heartrate increasing, even as SAM tried to prevent a panic attack.

"Um. It's sort of related. I—never was sick to my stomach. I had SAM alter your scans and my biology to make it look like I had a virus."

Sara watched as anger reached Lexi's eyes, almost instantly.

"You _what_?"

Fuck, Sara really should've seen that coming.

"I—"

There was no stopping the asari doctor now. She was on a roll.

"Do you know how dangerous that is? I could've prescribed a drug you didn't need!"

Sara opened her mouth again, only for Lexi to barrel on.

"So, now SAM can make it look like you're sick? He could make you look like you're well and nobody would be the wiser. That's dangerous and irresponsible."

Boy, did Sara regret ever opening her mouth.

"Can I at least tell you why I did so in the first place?" Sara asked.

Lexi crossed her arms, the picture of discontentment.

"Do tell. It better be good."

Best be out with it.

"I'm pregnant."

Oh boy, _that_ got Lexi to shut her mouth, with anger morphing to shock with such speed it was almost funny.

" _You're what!?_ "

Sara winced.

"Holy shit, keep it down! I don't want the entire fucking ship to know, alright?"

Lexi was in her personal space almost immediately, shock turned to utter glee. Sara recoiled a bit.

"Does Jaal know? Oh, Goddess, this is amazing. Unprecedented."

"Just you and Jaal and SAM know. I was planning on announcing it to more people, family, the rest of the crew, the Nexus, in a couple weeks. So, don't say anything to anyone, okay?"

Lexi was clearly offended by that.

"Of course, I won't say anything! What kind of doctor do you take me for?"

Sara held up her hands placatingly.

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

Now, there were four who knew. Eventually the whole cluster would know. A pregnant Pathfinder would be prime gossip.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

She reached for her datapad and started tapping away, probably making a file for the child.

"SAM told me sixteen days ago when the—the fetus implanted, or whatever."

Lexi nodded.

"Tack on maybe a week between conception and implantation. Scans will tell me more."

There were a hundred more questions that Lexi could ask, and all of them were in a tangle in her mouth. That much was clear. It was funny to watch, Sara supposed.

"Scans, huh? This doesn't mean I'm suddenly your guinea pig for the foreseeable future," Sara said.

"Oh, yes it does."

Lexi spoke over Sara's groan, "As the _Tempest_ doctor, I have a prerogative to keep you, and now your child, alive. And that means you, Sara Ryder, are staying right here until I can finish my tests."

Sara put on a pout, more for show than anything else. But there was little heat to it. As long as nothing Lexi did required hurting

They were in there for two hours.

Lexi didn't call any red-flags, said the heartbeat was strong, that structures were forming along roughly how they ought to be.

"In a week, we'll do a karyotype. Just to make sure," Lexi advised, at the close of their meeting.

Sara nodded. She didn't really have a choice but to agree.

Sara, for a moment, wished Jaal was human so that it wasn't really necessary for all the poking and prodding and worrying.

But then she started trying to imagine what their child would look like—perhaps pink-purple skin and her eyes—and figured that it would be worth it in the end.

…

 **All feedback is super appreciated!**

 **Come say hi on my Tumblr at tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	4. Calamity

**Loved that love on the most recent chapter! 3**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

It was a relief to now have Jaal by her side, fully aware of everything that was going on. And it was also a relief, of course to a lesser extent, to have Lexi on their team as well.

Their time was spent in a mixed bag of on-the-sly prenatal care and trying to maintain appearances.

They, meaning Sara and Lexi, did an ultrasound, with only the two of them in the room, in the quest of arousing as little suspicion as possible.

Sara was beginning to hate the sneaking around, hated it even more when she was seeing this without Jaal with her.

As soon as the image focused, Sara vowed to bring him with her every time they saw the baby, crew's suspicions be dammed.

It was a little pulsing lump, almost peanut-shaped. It didn't look like anything close to human or angara or in-between the two yet

It was beautiful.

"That's—that's it," Sara murmured, pointing a shaky hand at the image.

"There it is. Your little baby," Lexi confirmed. She was smiling.

She didn't cry then, but when she showed Jaal the pictures hours later and saw the trembling hope and undisguised awe in his face, she had to bury her face into his shoulder and compose herself.

After the initial excitement, it didn't take a mind reader to know that Lexi was concerned about the whole human-angara hybrid situation. The scans so far looked promising as they could this early in the pregnancy, but Sara knew that Lexi had her misgivings.

They were going to wait for further development before more rigorous tests. Lexi wasn't going to push anything that would potentially hurt the child, especially anything that required poking around at it.

This wasn't a normal pregnancy. Sara had no illusions about that.

Hell, Sara was sure the only reason Lexi wasn't berating her on the whole 'you should've practiced safe sex' thing and the 'you shouldn't have had sex with Jaal when he was going through a hormonal event that you didn't understand' thing and the 'this _entire_ situation dangerous both for you and your child, but mostly you' thing was that Lexi didn't want to accidentally alienate her patient.

And it was a good thing she kept her mouth shut. Sara already gave those things enough thought, and didn't want them thrown in her face from a different person.

They already had their spats over SAM and his influence on her physiology. Sara didn't want to have that conversation that would likely ultimately end in a 'you shouldn't go through with this.'

Sara was going to see this through, good or ill, and deal with whatever fallout may come.

…

It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them that Sara would still do her Pathfinder duties, like nothing had changed, though perhaps not get into firefights with everyone who looks at her funny.

Jaal didn't like the idea, but when Sara reminded him that pregnant angara still fought against the kett until they couldn't anymore, he kept his mouth shut.

It was for the best. If things changed suddenly, questions would be asked. So far, the cluster had been quiet enough that most problems didn't require a Pathfinder's hand. More and more militia were being defrosted and sent to defend the various outposts, especially after the losses sustained after the battle to take Meridian. And there were three other Pathfinders that could help.

"Tell me you will think about stepping away," Jaal had asked.

She couldn't give him a solid answer.

Things were smooth, relatively speaking. She could almost seriously entertain the idea.

Until she received a flurry of emails from Kadara.

Christmas Tate had been doing his best with an outpost surrounded by slowly-healing sulfur springs and every manner of criminals.

Reyes had been as welcoming as he possibly could be to an Initiative outpost after putting a bullet in Sloane Kelly. But Tate was spread thin even with the Initiative militia present and the emails that he sent Sara made it clear that he needed a Pathfinder, specifically Sara, to help.

Allegedly, the general population held some feelings of respect for her, aside from severe Initiative malcontents, any surviving Outcasts, and the Roekaar.

Plenty of people wanted her dead. What else was new?

But there was no choice but for them to dock on Kadara and there was no choice for Sara but to disembark.

Jaal was insistent he go with her, enthusiastic to a point it seemed strange to Vetra, who was scheduled to go planetside to begin with.

Everyone and their mother knew Jaal hated Kadara. There was no reason he'd volunteer to come without good reason.

"Maybe we can raise our child here," Sara mumbled when it was just the two of them in the armory as the ship started its descent.

Jaal looked utterly insulted, ducking down to hiss in her ear.

"Our child will not live in such a place of squalor and depravity like Kadara."

Sara grinned and lightly nudged him.

"I know. I'm kidding. We'll find somewhere."

Jaal huffed and kissed the top of her head before shuffling out, muttering something about 'sulfur springs' and 'horrible smell'.

Sara's smile immediately evaporated as she focused on getting her armor on.

She really shouldn't have turned that stone. It brought about questions that they didn't have answers to yet.

Where would they raise their child? What would they do after it was born? Neither Jaal nor Sara would put themselves in positions to orphan their child, at least to the best of their ability.

And, right now, Sara was putting herself in a position where their child could die before it even had a chance to live.

Boy, did that make her feel like the worst person ever to live ever.

Still, duty called.

Sara donned the toughest chestplate in the armory and prayed to any gods that would listen that this wouldn't end in disaster.

Lexi didn't need to give her a warning before Sara got off the ship.

Don't take a bath in the sulfur ponds. Don't get shot.

Easy.

She checked and double-checked her armor, slung two assault rifles on her back, tucked a pistol to her hip, and collected her crew.

"Let's not pick any fights we can avoid," she said. "We'll help Tate, you know, iron stuff out, and leave. Hopefully no one causes us any trouble."

Vetra tapped fist against her open hand. "If they do, they're screwed."

Sara nodded.

"Very. Let's go."

…

Sara strode down the ramp on the back of the Tempest with Jaal and Vetra at her back. There was a confidence she didn't feel as she walked.

She was Pathfinder. She got in firefights on a near-daily basis for months in

Tate wasn't there to meet them, but they were quickly approached by a human woman who introduced herself as Yesenia Lopez.

"I'm Tate's assistant," she said in a way of explanation. She didn't seem to like the idea of it, of being sent to do his errands.

Sara didn't take in personally. It wasn't like everyone was happy with the positions they were put in after being defrosted. She nodded. "Good to meet you."

Yesenia gestured with a hand.

"I'll take you to Tate. He has a laundry list of things he wants you to help him with."

Sara internally groaned. Of course, just her luck.

Over the private channel, Sara muttered, "SAM, tell me if anything looks suspicious. Like, for real suspicious."

"I will. There are no current threats around you."

Alright. A couple minutes into her trip and no threat. So far, so good.

Sara didn't want to think about the very precious and vulnerable thing that was sitting inside her. Not even a month into the pregnancy and there she was.

To be fair, very few of the habitable worlds were habitable at all. She was more likely to cause damage to herself and her child on Elaaden or Voeld, both of which were still on their way to reaching temperatures close to normal.

Can't hide from the weather, but can shoot at people who want to shoot at her.

So. There wasn't much she could do. It's not like she could only take missions on Aya and Eos, which now had solar radiation levels that could be easily blocked by life support or even sunscreen.

She just had to find a way to boost her life support in her suit for Elaaden and Voeld. And hope that nobody shot at her when she was on Kadara.

Fine. It was all going to be fine.

Yesenia led them through the outpost. People they passed stopped and whispered.

There were always whispers.

Respect, disdain, mistrust, admiration. She didn't want to be a god or a despot. She signed up to the Initiative to serve.

With that came whispers and titles. Savior of Heleus. The Initiative's errand girl.

This entire situation was totally not planned, not even close to in-line with what she thought she would face at the end of a 600-year-long nap.

"How are things at the outpost?" Sara asked in way of conversation. Only so much could be gathered from just looking at the superficial.

Yesenia jumped at the question and glanced at her. There were bags under her eyes, a weariness in her posture. But she looked nervous, on-edge. "It could be better. Definitely could be better."

That didn't sound good, but Sara couldn't know for a fact that what she was hearing really was that bad.

"Anything that I can do to help?"

She nodded, mouth curling in what could be mistaken for a grimace. "Definitely. I don't think Tate would've contacted you if he knew you couldn't do anything."

They walked and walked to stop in a tiny courtyard-space surrounded by box-like buildings. The outpost had enough resources to pretty-up the place. Native flowers grew in boxes alongside small patches of familiar-looking crops.

Sara looked around, something like irritation heating her face. Tate was nowhere to be seen. They came all this way, and Tate couldn't be bothered to show up on time?

"Where's Tate? As much as I love seeing the outpost, you know, I'd like to actually do the stuff I was called here to do."

She stared at Yesenia, looking for an explanation. The other woman seemed guilty for a second.

"Ah, I already messaged him. He will be here soon."

Huh.

Neither Vetra nor Jaal said anything. They just shifted where they stood, looking around in idle curiosity.

Really, Sara shouldn't have felt suspicious. She could chalk it up to prenatal paranoia that something felt wrong.

Still…weird.

She was about to ask SAM if Yesenia had actually used her omni-tool to contact Tate at all while they were walking when he spoke up over the private channel.

"Sara, the turian at your 11-o-clock is a combative position. His hand is going for the weapon on his back. Also, I have Lopez scanned and her heartrate is higher than what is normal."

Panic like a lance cut through Sara instantly.

She glanced to the left, the action unseen because of the tint in her helmet, to see the turian in raggedy armor. His hand was moving to grab the butt of his shotgun. She glanced to the right to see that sweat glistened in Yesenia's hairline. Her eyes were cutting towards the turian, almost like she was waiting for him to make a move.

Shit. _Shit_.

A set-up. They were set-up.

Sara fumbled for her pistol, the quickest thing she could access.

He was going to kill her. He was going to wound her and end up killing her child. She didn't know. She couldn't know. Either scenario couldn't happen.

She had to kill him first.

She aimed just as he brought his shotgun from over his shoulder, pulling the trigger.

His knee buckled a bit right as he shot at her, firing too high, sailing over their heads.

The bullet exchange happened almost simultaneously, an explosion of sound.

People were screaming, Jaal and Vetra tensing behind her, hopping into action.

Sara staggered back, one hand holding her pistol and the other bracing across her abdomen.

She didn't take him down. It wasn't enough.

Fear narrowed her vision, closed over her throat.

If this had happened a month earlier, she would have stepped in front of Jaal and Vetra without hesitation.

But now there was something else to focus on: her child. Her little child who had no choice in being her child, no choice in being put in this position.

Jaal made the decision for her. He had her by the scruff of the neck, a handful of her armor, and yanked her behind him, shielding her with his body.

The turian male shouted something that she couldn't understand and aimed at Jaal.

"No!" Sara yelled, impotent, useless.

While Jaal and Sara moved back, away from the turian, Vetra moved forward.

Vetra was quick and deadly, gunshots ringing out before the male could think to aim at this new target. And he was on the ground, holes smoking in his head.

"Are we clear?" Sara shouted, at SAM, at Jaal and Vetra, at anyone who would give her a straight answer.

"Clear!"

Jaal immediately turned to her.

"Are you okay?" Jaal asked.

His hands skimmed up her sides, brushing over her stomach. Sara shook her head, trying to put a semi-normal amount of space between them.

 _No, no, don't treat me differently, not here._

"We're fine, we're fine."

She said that like she knew for sure that was the answer. She didn't know. She could've been shot and shock would've made it so she didn't feel it.

But Jaal wasn't panicking in a way that would indicate that she was injured and she didn't feel anything so she could be fine but she didn't know.

Vetra stared at them with a look of both confusion and suspicion.

Sara stayed impassive on the outside, giving an air of 'oh, my concerned boyfriend, coddling me', a lie and a truth meshing perfectly on her face. Just enough for the turian to buy it, maybe.

On the inside, she was frantic on SAM's private channel, more emotion than words.

SAM already had an answer before she could ask the question, like he had already checked everything possible the moment the attack ceased.

"Sara, I am not detecting any changes with the health of the fetus. Though I would suggest not getting into that kind of situation again, both for your sake and for the sake of your unborn child."

The words echoed around in her head, like a balm. She nodded at nothing.

Right. Not going to do that again.

A glance to the right and she saw Yesenia's retreating back. She wasn't running, but wasn't walking either. Trying to be as nonchalant and disappear into the crowd while the chaos swirled around the outpost.

Pure rage had Sara's hand lifting up her pistol.

She felt it, a jolt of energy that radiated from shoulder to fingertip, as she lifted and aimed. With the lightest squeeze, a single bullet left the barrel.

Her aim was true. She didn't feel a thing.

…

The rest of the stop, fulfilling the various menial jobs and mediating arguments, passed in a numb blur.

Tate had rained apologies for the breach in security, promising that nothing like that would ever happen again.

The turian, Alescus, was a former Outcast with a history of violence. He had paid Yesenia off, a hefty sum, to bring Sara out to the open.

Yesenia was still alive, barely, locked up in the outpost's little prison.

Sara wished she had killed her.

There were suggestions made that they go back to the Tempest and leave. But some idiot part of her made her bark an order to stay.

She remembered Jaal and Vetra, especially Jaal, looming over her like the fiercest of bodyguards.

It was to make her feel safe. To make sure everyone else around them knew that if there was another attack, there would a hail of bullets to meet the attacker.

Without prompting, SAM knew to fiddle with her physiology, make her hands shake less, make her heart beat a little slower, even giving her prompts as to next steps.

It was a temporary thing, not even fully fixing the panic. It was still there, an ache sitting in the center of her chest. When it was time to fully feel, she would feel it and it would suck. She knew that.

SAM kept her spine straight, kept her composed, until she decided it was time to leave.

She resolved what she could and put tape and bandaids over what couldn't be fixed in a day.

Tate was grateful for the help, that much was clear. It was some small victory to be had, though she was antsy to get to the privacy of her room on the _Tempest_.

SAM quietly informed her that he had been collecting names and details of all the errands she did that day and was already writing reports to be sent to the Nexus for filing away. She didn't need to ask how he'd be able to make it sound like her writing in the reports. He had his database on everything Sara Ryder and could probably masquerade as her through words for the foreseeable future.

She was in such a mood that any reports she wrote herself would probably unintelligible.

All she could think about was the light in that turian's eyes, how he was out to kill her. He could've succeeded. He could've killed her. He could've killed Jaal or her child, which would have been the same as killing her. She knew her heart would've been shattered if she lost either of them.

It was a terrifying thing. The love of her life, and the product of their love for each other. Two things that she found on Heleus that she now couldn't bear to lose.

Her heart hurt in her chest. She wanted to cry and cry because she almost died and she almost lost everything.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to so many people.

But she knew she was being selfish. It wasn't just her and her family that deserved safety and security in Heleus. She was Pathfinder. She was to provide safety and security at the expense of her own. That was how it fucking worked.

Now, it wasn't as simple.

…

She had a conversation that she couldn't remember with Suvi and Kallo about getting underway and going somewhere. Probably towards the Nexus. It was a safe bet that she said something about heading to the Nexus. Or to Meridian. One of the two.

Her fingers shook when she took off her armor. She fumbled over the latches and buckles as one by one, she looked less like a warrior and more like...something else. It felt like she was exposing herself, somehow less safe in the walls of the _Tempest_.

SAM said her child still lived where it rested inside of her. It was some source of relief. It had to be.

Lexi demanded another check-up, even though it had been two days since she last saw Sara. That was Tomorrow Sara's problem. Right now was Scared-Out-Of-Her-Mind Sara's time to try to make sense of what the hell happened.

Jaal followed her out of the armory, similarly freed of his armor and his weapons in their proper places.

The door shut behind Jaal as Sara moved further into her quarters. She sat down on the bed, kept her back to Jaal.

Inhaled and exhaled, shuddering.

Sulfur still clung to the back of her throat and coated her skin. She needed a shower. She wanted to boil herself and get rid of the memory of cruel eyes and a bullet that didn't meet its mark.

Her hands moved up to rest on her stomach.

Still alive. Not tangible yet. She wished she was further along, that there was a little lump there that she could rub and know was real.

She was going to be a mother. She wanted to experience her child, all that she could.

"You shouldn't be going out the field anymore, Sara," Jaal said, shattering the silence.

She immediately bristled, still not looking at him.

"I'm pregnant, Jaal. I'm not an invalid."

There was a pause. "What happened today could have killed our child, killed _you_."

Sara's irritation turned to anger, near-incoherent.

"That is a risk I have to take!" she yelled. "Living in Heleus isn't 100% safe even if I wasn't Pathfinder. But I _am_ Pathfinder."

Her hands were shaking, hadn't stopped even since they left Kadara's atmosphere, when SAM let her feel the panic that was at a simmer under the surface since the first shot.

It had been a close call. If Jaal hadn't been there, she didn't know what could have happened.

She barreled on. "I need to keep up appearances. I can't just hole myself on the _Tempest_ and not do anything. I'm still Pathfinder. I still have a job to do."

When Jaal touched the top of her head, she jumped as if poked with a sharp object. She didn't hear him move to stand by her side.

He recoiled.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Sara shook her head.

"It's fine. I—please touch me."

His hand immediately returned to the top of her head. She relaxed immediately, whatever could be considered 'relaxed' in the middle of a near-panic attack. He fingered the loose strands of hair that had come loose from her ponytail.

Her anchor. Gods, she wanted to cry.

"My dearest, I'm not asking you to give that up."

She scoffed. Funny, how he was usually the blustery, emotional one and she was usually the one to reason him out of irrational reactions.

He continued in a murmur, "I just—I want you to be safe. And I want our child to be safe."

She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. This was where the difficult part came in, a kind of choice where there wasn't really a clear right-and-wrong.

She didn't know what to do. There was the safety of her child and there was her duty as Pathfinder. Both _could_ exist at the same time, but it would be difficult. She couldn't imagine going on raids anymore, killing kett and actively seeking out groups that want her dead.

One wrong move and this would all be for nothing.

But this was her _job_. She was the fucking human Pathfinder and her father foisted this job on her by fucking dying. She had no choice in this and she didn't know how to let it go. She was Pathfinder. That and the paths she took in order to keep the cluster safe sunk into her DNA and was the entire reason she was pregnant in the first place.

"I don't know who I am outside of being Pathfinder."

She wrung her fingers together.

And that seemed to the root of the problem. Of course, she had her 'abandonment issues.' Her distant relationship with her parents, followed by her mother's death, followed by her father's death. And then there was the fear of losing anyone else because she cared too much about everyone.

And now there was this, this crippling feeling of inferiority. She couldn't do everything, but she had to do everything. She had to help everyone, but couldn't help everyone.

This pregnancy was going to put her on the sidelines at some point. It had to. Once she got big enough, she would have to stop going out in the field. She physically wouldn't be able to fight in the ways she was used to.

Even now, her mind was focusing on protecting her child. Her world's axis shifted from the safety of billions of lives, to the safety of one. It snuck up on her.

"What am I when I'm not Pathfinder?"

She looked up from where she was focused on her hands when Jaal moved to kneel before her.

"You are the woman I love. You are the hero of Heleus." He took her hands in his.

"If you can't be Pathfinder, you still conquered the Remnant and the kett. You brought your people home."

His hands rubbed on her thighs, massaging the tension out of them.

"My starlight."

That drew a smile to her lips. Sometimes, the kinds of things he said would almost make her swoon like out of an old-time romance novel.

Jaal's expression hardened. "My heart stopped the moment that cretin attacked you. I wish I could've killed him myself."

She brought his hands up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. There was little more she could do.

"I'm sorry for making you worry. I know—I know it was a mistake to go down there. But I don't know what else to do. People look to me."

He nodded.

"The burden of leadership. But you are not alone in this. Cora was your father's second, was she not?"

She chewed the inside of her cheek. She couldn't say anything.

She worked so hard to prove herself to Cora as usurper of the Pathfinder role. Giving it up to Cora made bitterness churn in her stomach.

Hearing nothing from her, Jaal squeezed her hands. "For our sakes, think about it. I just—I want to keep you safe. You and our child. I couldn't stand to lose either of you."

She nodded. At least they were on the same page in that aspect.

"Okay. I'll—I'll think about it. Maybe once we talk with Kandros we can get something sorted out with the APEX teams. With Cora, that can come later."

Twelve more days and the entire damn cluster would know she was pregnant.

Jaal's hands slipped under her shirt to rest on her stomach.

"Soon, our child will be in our arms. Now, it sleeps, safe. You are keeping it alive. You have the greater burden. I wish I could take some of it from you."

He was earnest, guilty-sounding. She shrugged, cupped his face in her hands. His eyes narrowed a bit at the touch, kind of like a cat.

"It's biology," Sara murmured, trying to assure him that he had no reason to feel guilty. "But, you get to hold back my hair when morning sickness comes and massage my feet when they get swollen."

She leaned down and kissed him.

"Gladly," he said with a smile, "Anything for the mother of my child."

…

 **10 FAKE INTERNET DOLLARS TO WHOEVER CAN GUESS WHAT SHOW THE KADARA INCIDENT IS VERY LOOSELY BASED OFF OF (hint, BBC show).**

 **But anyway, all feedback is appreciated. Helps morale and gets me to update faster! Don't be a stranger!**

 **Come say hi on my Tumblr tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	5. Fault

**Well, nobody guessed the show. It was** _ **Victoria**_ **(the story of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert). Thanks for playing!**

 **Thanks so much for the lovely feedback, it's much appreciated!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

Sara woke up to an undeniable feeling of nausea.

The next thing she felt was Jaal as he spooned her from behind, a warm and strong wall of muscle.

She definitely preferred the latter over the former.

She shifted against him, taking a deep breath, trying to center herself, ignore the feeling.

This was probably nothing.

Sara lurched out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom moments later.

Nope, not nothing.

Her knees hit the ground in front of the toilet before the first wave came, the sound of retching and coughing filling the little space.

It was in her nose, too. And it _burned_.

Fuck, she prided herself in not getting sick (the three times she died/almost died didn't count as being sick).

So, this was an unfamiliar sensation of just…ick.

It didn't help she ate more than usual before she went to sleep. A recent resupply meant a stocked galley which also meant a meal more substantial than nutrient paste.

It was great at the time, jerky and Heleus-native rice and dried fruit.

Now, not so great.

She glanced down at her stomach. Still no bump yet, but she could imagine the lump that was her child just shrugging its little shoulders.

 _I didn't do that. Wasn't my fault. The pyjak did it!_

"You're grounded," she breathed. "You aren't even born yet and you're _so_ grounded."

She rested her head on the chilled rim of the toilet and saw a familiar figure in the doorway from the corner of her eye.

"Are you okay, Sara?" Jaal asked.

Rhetorical question. She moaned between spitting into the toilet.

"No."

"Do you want me to sit with you?"

She knew how angara were like about illness, so she hesitated in shouting 'yes!'

Company would've been nice. But if she made Jaal uncomfortable, no good.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Sara said, leaving him every opportunity to retreat back to bed.

Instead, Jaal stepped into the room and sat down cross-legged just behind her right side, angling himself so the mess in the toilet was just out of view.

For both their benefit, she flushed the mess away.

"I will stay with you, my dearest one," Jaal said.

His hand was at her back, rubbing over her spine.

Sara tried to focus on the hand, ignore the feeling roiling in her stomach.

It worked for maybe half a minute before she was leaning over the toilet again with an ugly noise.

"Okay, I know you're uncomfortable," Sara muttered when the sensation subsided for a moment.

"I am. But I will suspend my feelings for your sake." He threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling wayward strands out of her face.

"I love you so much, my dearest," he said.

His hand returned to her back, rubbing gently now.

She smiled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Now it was just dry-heaving, which was just as unpleasant as wet-heaving. But every time she made a noise, lurched over the toilet, she could hear Jaal's sharp inhale, feel his hand tense where he touched her. She didn't have to look at him to know he was rigid and wincing.

"I love you with all my heart, Jaal. I really do. And that how I know how much you don't like this. I can _feel_ it."

There was a pause, like Jaal was going to protest.

"Are human pregnancies always like this?" he asked instead.

Sara nodded, though it probably was a stretch of the truth. This wasn't a human pregnancy, not really.

"Yep. Now, let me up. I think I'm done."

He kissed the crown of her head before helping her up. He was probably holding his breath and closing his eyes before they made the turn from the toilet.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jaal asked.

Sara shook her head.

"No, its fine. I'll just brush my teeth and go back to bed."

His hand came up to skim over the ridge of her cheek.

"I shall work on the Nomad. Until I see you, my love."

She leaned into his hand a touch, unwilling to kiss him with her gross mouth. Then he left.

Sara brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste of bile and acid and lumbered back to bed.

"Fuck," she muttered. "SAM, please tell me this is normal."

The nauseous feeling wouldn't go _away_. And this was way too early in the pregnancy for morning sickness anyway, right?

"Typically, morning sickness starts a few weeks later it has for you."

Okay, so she was right. She read pretty much everything one could read on human pregnancy. She couldn't manage to find anything on angara pregnancies, and probably couldn't ask anyone without raising questions.

"I can try to minimalize the severity of your nausea," SAM informed.

He didn't need to ask twice.

SAM worked his magic until the gross feeling in her stomach slowly faded to something that could be easily ignored. But a feeling of utter exhaustion stole over her in exchange.

Figures. Awesome. Just what she, the human Pathfinder, needed. Vomiting, then exhaustion.

This pregnancy was going to take _forever_.

She was almost at the one-month mark, the end of the two-week period Jaal and Sara gave themselves before announcing to loved ones (and by extension the rest of the cluster). In fact, they were planning to gather the crew the next day to deliver the news, after informing their families over vid-call.

Neither he nor she really knew what to say that was in any way eloquent.

"Yeah, a couple weeks later. But, this isn't an ordinary pregnancy," Sara mumbled.

"Yes. You may experience symptoms earlier and perhaps more severely than in a human pregnancy. And there is also the fact that the fetus is half-angara, which may cause new and unexpected symptoms."

"Such as?"

"I have been going through scenarios. There is a high probability the fetus has inherited an angara's bioelectrics, which may interact with your body."

 _What?_

"So, I might get electrocuted by my own child?"

SAM paused for a moment. "It is a possibility."

"Great."

"I predict muscle spasms and more severe, yet short-lived moodswings as a result from fetal bioelectricity, if this is the case."

Sara sighed.

Okay. Fine. A grab-bag of pregnancy symptoms for the next eight months.

Not an ideal situation, but as long as they weren't completely debilitating or fatal, she couldn't be bothered to complain. She signed up for this, she was seeing this through.

A trip to Lexi to see about some anti-nausea drugs might be required if SAM couldn't keep a sustained influence on her body.

Sara slept for an undetermined amount of time before her omnitool chimed and stirred her awake.

"Gil needs to see you, Pathfinder," Suvi announced.

Sara let out a loud, long groan. Of all the times the _Tempest_ mechanic could've needed her, it had to be now.

There was a beat of silence before Suvi spoke up again.

"Uh, Sara?"

 _Fuck_. The channel was open. Suvi, and likely Kallo, heard everything.

"Sorry, Suvi. Tell Gil I'll be down in a minute."

This time, Sara made sure no one could hear her before she groaned loudly again.

Well, that was embarrassing and unprofessional. She would have to apologize to Suvi for that later.

After putting on clothes that didn't smell like sweat and vomit, she trudged to Gil's 'office'.

Immediately, the redhead caught on that something didn't look too good. She could see it in his face. Damn him for being perceptive.

"Whoa, you don't look good," he said.

Sara realized her face probably looked still blotched and eyes bloodshot from recent events. Shit. Time to deflect.

"I'm sick."

Gil's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

"Sick? Our illustrious Pathfinder is sick?"

She almost wanted to shake Gil but held back.

This was partially his fault that he was sick in the first place.

It was at his (and Jill's) behest that she got off the blockers.

'An example for the rest of the Initiative,' they had said.

It had been more a symbolic gesture than anything when Sara did it, since she had assumed that her relationship with Jaal mooted the need for birth control anyway.

And that assumption was so, _so_ wrong.

It only served to take down one less hurdle on her way to getting her pregnant.

Angara hormones, Remnant bullshit, lack of birth control.

Gil would probably be excited to hear the news, hell, Jill would be ecstatic. But Sara was stressed enough as it is worrying that Lexi was going to let slip the secret.

"Yep," Sara nodded, carefully deflecting, "You know, human things. Because this Pathfinder is still human."

"You'd think SAM would be able to fix that for you."

"That would likely compromise the Pathfinder's immune system," SAM chimed in helpfully.

Gil shrugged.

"Fair enough. But I didn't call you in here to debate on how you handle your health."

"You didn't?"

"Nope. Ah, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to play poker."

Sara blinked. "Again? Right now?"

Gil shrugged and pulled out a worn-looking deck of cards.

"If you're not busy, of course."

Really, it wasn't that difficult a request. He could've had her help calibrate some device or another, something that was above her skillset or had her do some heavy lifting.

Letting herself get trounced by Gil in a poker game wasn't the worst thing he could've asked of her.

"Are you going to enlist my help?" SAM echoed in her head.

"No, thanks."

Because she already used SAM to win once, she wasn't going to use him again. That was just playing dirty.

"What are the stakes? More credits on the line?"

"Our pride?"

Sara shrugged. "Fair enough."

They sat down across from each other, a large crate between them.

Gil shuffled the deck and dealt the cards with practiced precision.

And it was clear to Sara very quickly that he was distracted. There were cracks in his poker face that even she could see without SAM's prompting.

After many minutes, Gil sat back and set his hand on the table.

"Huh, look at that," Gil muttered. "You won."

"I wasn't using SAM, this time. Just so you know."

Gil chewed the inside of his cheek.

"Huh. Not quite sure I believe you."

Sara rolled her eyes.

"Well, believe it."

They sat in a tense silence for a few moments.

"Alright, now that you've gotten this out of your system, care to tell me what you _really_ want to tell me?" Sara asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Don't know what you're talking about."

Sara cocked a brow.

"Seriously, I know what you're like when you're in the 'poker zone' or whatever. So, unless you wanted to give me a pity win for whatever reason, something's up."

Gil looked like he was going to deny everything before his posture drooped.

"It's about Jill."

Sara froze, waited for Gil to continue.

"You know how I was gonna father Jill's kid?" Gil paused, cleared his throat. "Well, Jill tried. Recently. The first embryos, two of them, actually, didn't take. Just received word."

He gestured vaguely at one of the monitors, where Sara assumed he had read the message from.

It took a moment for the information to sink in, what it meant.

"Oh. Gil, I'm so sorry," Sara whispered.

She wasn't ready for the wave of guilt that swept over her, making her throat tight and her eyes burn. She knew Jill wanted to have children and was trying to have children. Sara was able to get pregnant without even trying, and the pregnancy was continuing as normal.

"It's okay," Gil said. "Jill's gonna give it a month or two before trying again. I figure she's not gonna stop until the fertilization is successful. Wait—are you _crying_?"

Sara's hand shot to her face and sure enough there was wetness on her cheeks.

"Well, uh, you're right," she muttered.

Gil reached over and patted her shoulder. It was clear he was affected by this and he was _not_ okay but Sara didn't know what to do.

"Don't worry, it'll happen eventually. Sure, Jill's disappointed."

Forcing her _totally-not-pregnancy-related_ emotions in a corner of her mind, she managed a smile. More for Gil's benefit than hers.

"Yeah. I'm—I'm sure good news will come soon."

She immediately wanted to kick herself when something like suspicion crept into Gil's expression.

Shit.

"Well, I'll leave you to your thoughts," Sara muttered, lightly punching Gil's arm before making a _totally-not-rushed-and-slightly-panicked_ beeline for the exit.

Not suspicious. At all. Good job, Sara. Go you.

On her way back to her room, Sara decided she wasn't sure if Gil was going to love or hate her when she delivered the news the next day.

…

 **-jazz hands-**

 **All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Come say hi on Tumblr at tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	6. Confession

**Chapter 6: Confession**

 **So…uh, sorry about the hiatus. Life and school and work happened. But thank you so much to all who commented and stuff! Makes it all worthwhile!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect. I just like to suffer.**

…

The day found Sara weakly dry-heaving over the toilet.

"My apologies, Sara," SAM echoed from his node.

SAM had done all he could, but the nausea was still there, just enough to be a bit crippling at its worst. At least she wasn't blowing chunks everywhere at any given moment.

She had plain nutrient paste and the blandest crap she could find the galley for yesterday's meals, taking them alone so there weren't any questions as to why Sara would _willingly_ eat plain nutrient paste.

It was awful.

But she figured she could at least dispense with the sneaking around after today, which would make her life a little easier.

…

They would tell their close family first, then the crew. And by winning a coin toss (or losing, depends on how one looked at it), Sara got to tell Scott before anyone else.

The little circle of three who knew the truth would grow to four, then to five, growing until the entire damn galaxy would know about it. That was the plan.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell your mom first?" Sara whined, one hand tapping around her omni-tool.

Jaal chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"No, no. Your brother first."

He was pleased with the whole idea of finally telling everyone. Sara knew Jaal had been bursting at the seams to talk about their child.

Sara was excited too, no doubt about that. But once the actual time came to tell someone…

"I don't know what to say to him," Sara whispered.

She really didn't. This was something she had thought about since she found out she was pregnant, but now, she couldn't think of anything eloquent to say.

Jaal rubbed her back.

"How about the truth, my love?"

Of course. The truth. That she was pregnant and, if all went well, Scott was going to be the uncle to the first human-angara child in existence.

He was going to freak out.

She took a deep breath and tapped at her omni-tool, patching her through to Scott.

She immediately wished she could backtrack. She didn't know where Scott even _was_. He could be dead asleep somewhere for all she knew.

But before she could think of disconnecting and just have SAM track him down so she could find him and tell him in person, Scott's voice crackled into the still air.

"Sara? 'S that you?"

He sounded tired and muffled, like he had just woken up. Figures.

"Hey Scott," Sara greeted, forcing levity and cheerfulness into her voice. "I've got some news. You alone?"

There was the sound of fabric rustling—sheets moving, like he sat up in bed—and _maybe_ the faint sound of another voice. But she couldn't be sure.

"Can you talk? Where are you?" Sara asked slowly.

More movement and _maybe_ the sound of a door closing.

Scott made a snuffling noise and yawned. "Ah, yeah. Sorry, just, uh, yeah, I'm on Kadara, outpost business. What's up?"

Sara glanced over at Jaal. He watched her with a soft expression, no tenseness or worry in his face at all.

"I'm pregnant," Sara said and watched as Jaal's expression lit up almost comically.

No point in delaying the inevitable.

But the silence on the other end was deafening and for a moment Sara thought Scott had disconnected. But the line was still active.

An exhaled laugh crackled in the omni-tool. "That's funny, Sara. Playin' a joke on your kid brother. Got my heart racing a bit, I'll give you that. But what's up, really?"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, Scott thought this was a joke. It would be something she'd joke about, years earlier, back when her relationships were revolving doors with nothing staying for more than a couple weeks.

Things had changed. She had changed.

"No, Scott, I'm serious. Never been more serious before in my life. I am pregnant. There is a little organic being inside me, and, no, it's not SAM, he doesn't count. I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a child."

After a beat of silence, there was the faint wheeze, and Sara knew it had sunk in. She could imagine the expression on Scott's face: his mouth gaping open like a fish, eyes wide.

"You're _pregnant_? You, Sara Alexandra _fucking_ Ryder, are pregnant. That's what you're saying to me."

She nodded, though he couldn't see her. Jaal was grinning.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying."

Another pause as Scott sucked in a breath.

"Holy fucking shit!" Scott shouted, the volume distorting his voice in the speaker.

Sara gasped in mock-offense, brought her hand over her still-flat stomach.

"Hey, not in front of the baby."

"Oh, shove it. Man, that's, I'm gonna be an _uncle_!"

Scott laughed, genuine and joyous, and Sara fought back tears.

Now that she thought about it, the Ryder family deserved as many wins as it could get. Scott had a rough time the instant they arrived in Andromeda. She didn't know how well he was doing now, at least good enough that he was doing Initiative work.

At least, for sure, she delivered some good news.

"Got a belly yet? Man, I can't wait to see you like you swallowed a full-sized watermelon."

Sara scoffed at that. She had given that a lot of thought. She would have to ditch all of her tight-fitting clothes at some point in this pregnancy. "No, Scott, no belly. I'm only a month along."

" _A month_? And you're just telling me _now_?"

That, of course, would be something Scott would complain about. They kept things from each other—what pair of siblings didn't? —but this, in his defense, was a pretty big thing to keep from him.

"I'm sure Lexi would've had me wait another two before I said anything. This isn't exactly a normal pregnancy."

"Not a normal—wait, wait, who's the dad?" Scott asked, "Not Jaal, right? There's no way."

Sara glanced over at the angara in question, who still grinned like he was having the time of his life. It was going to be the reveal that would probably shock Scott the most, aside from the actual pregnancy.

"Jaal's the dad."

Scott sputtered. "But—he's—okay. Right, why not? New galaxy. What do I know?"

"Trust me, this wasn't planned." Her cheeks heated up at the memories leading up to the conception. "But, it was welcome," she conceded.

If was to happen, might as well be now. If this had happened only a few months earlier, it would have been an utter disaster.

"Well, as long as it's safe, I'm happy for you," Scott sighed. "And, really, even if it wasn't entirely safe. I'd be happy for you anyway. It's not like Ryders do anything safe."

Scott paused for a moment.

"I'm pretty sure the Nexus is gonna blow a gasket when they hear about this."

"Oh, don't I know it," Sara agreed.

…

Contacting Sahuna took a little more time, needed to use the vid-con.

But the moment her image appeared, she spoke.

"My son. It is good to hear your voice and see your face."

She looked him over.

"You need to eat more."

Sara snickered under her breath as Jaal shuffled under the scrutiny.

"Ah, but you look well. Hello, Sara. You look healthy as well, I am happy to see."

Sara smiled. "Hello Sahuna. I'm glad to hear from you. How are things on Havarl?"

"Oh, it is more of the same, though it feels safer, _newer_ , here. Nonetheless, we don't let down our guard, ever."

Her attention turned to Jaal. "Now, my son, you have that look in your eye. I know it well. You have something to tell me."

Something trembled in her expression.

"Good news, yes?"

Sara's heart clenched. How much bad news had she received during her life?

"Yes, Mother," Jaal said with a nod. "Good news. Very good news. Sara is going to have a child. Our child."

Sahuna sagged immediately, her hands coming up to cover her face.

"Mother?" Jaal asked. He stepped closer to the vid-con, as if it would bring him closer to her. Sara stayed where she stood, unsure of what to do.

Finally, Sahuna audibly breathed in, shuddering.

"I had hoped. I wasn't sure if it was possible."

Her hands left her face, but her eyes looked impossibly bright and excited.

"Is it going well? Have you seen a doctor?"

"I've seen Lexi, the crew's doctor," Sara offered, "She has been monitoring things and everything is going well so far."

Sahuna shook her head, vehement.

"No, no. You _must_ come and see an angara doctor. I am sure your Milky Way doctors know many things, but they do not know angara biology as we do. It is best for you and your child."

Her arms crossed over her chest.

"Jaal, you should have taken her to Havarl to see our doctors the moment you found out she was pregnant!" Sahuna scolded.

Jaal ducked his head, looking very sheepish.

"Yes, mother."

Sahuna's eyes fell on Sara and Sara felt compelled to nod along. Someone who actually bore angara children would know something about angara pregnancies.

"Okay, I will."

Sahuna nodded, satisfied.

"Oh, the stars shine brightly for you, my son and daughter. You will have a beautiful and strong child. I know it."

There was a 'so long as you see an angara doctor' hidden somewhere in those words.

Sahuna grilled them a bit more and the couple avoided any and all mention of anything Sara did that would have risked harm to herself since she found out her was pregnant.

If Sara subconsciously willed SAM to interrupt, she couldn't admit to it. But he cut in anyway, "Pathfinder, the rest of the crew requires a debrief on the situation."

Sara seized the opportunity. "Ah, yes. It was good talking to you, Sahuna."

Jaal followed along. "Yes, mother. We will keep you updated. Stay strong and clear."

"Stay strong and clear, my dear son. And you, my daughter," Sahuna said, "I will see you soon."

Sara sighed the moment Sahuna's image winked out of existence.

"So, a trip to Havarl?"

This was something Sara had internally been dreading: truly accepting that her child wasn't fully human. As much as she wanted to treat this as some regular human pregnancy, this wouldn't be possible. Her child was half-angara and nobody knew what combination of angara traits was in there.

There was only so much Lexi could see. And Sara almost didn't want to know what could potentially be a danger to herself and her child.

But, Sara knew that it was better to know the dangers than to not know.

Jaal nodded.

"I know my mother will not cease her insisting until you do so. And I agree with her. You should see one of our doctors."

Their gazes turned to Sara's stomach.

Both of them knew they would traverse all over the damn cluster for their child.

…

Two down, the crew and the rest of the galaxy to go.

"So, should I be the one who actually announces it?" Sara asked.

She already knew the answer, but asked anyway. Jaal wasn't going to tell her anything different.

"At least in angara tradition, the one carrying the child is the one to announce the pregnancy. Our child is inside you, so yes."

Jaal paused and his eyes roamed over her face.

"But, if you want me to do it, I will. It is not that serious a tradition."

Sara shifted and rested her hands on her stomach.

"No, I'll do it. I just wanted to make sure."

Jaal gripped her upper arms, pulling her close to him.

"Don't worry, my dearest. I'm sure the others will be receptive to this announcement. Look at your brother and my mother. They were so happy."

She wanted to say that they were family and that it was different, but kept that to herself. The crew practically was family, if she was being honest with herself.

"And if they aren't?"

Jaal shook his head with a smile.

"They will."

He rested his chin on the top of her head and Sara couldn't help but smile. Okay, maybe she could believe him.

She sent a short message to Lexi that this was happening. Lexi immediately messaged back. The text couldn't fully express her hesitance for the whole idea.

It wasn't like Lexi could stop them. If Sara really wanted to, she could go on the inter-com and announce it to the whole ship at that moment.

But that seemed rather informal and didn't measure up to what kind of announcement she was making.

Instead, Jaal and Sara went up to the meeting room.

With a couple strokes on the keyboard, Sara called the crew for her announcement.

Almost immediately, Suvi pinged in from the bridge. "Does this require everyone?" she asked.

Sara paused for a beat.

"Yeah, Suvi. It shouldn't take too long. Just put us on autopilot while you and Kallo are away from the controls."

Sara turned to Jaal, who gave her a reassuring smile.

Of course, she had him to lean on. That was a constant.

Vetra and Liam arrived first.

Cora shortly followed, Peebee and Drack behind her. Sara tried not to stare too much at Gil when he arrived. He looked a bit drawn, like he got even less sleep than he usually did the night before. But he found a spot next to Lexi, who planted herself in the back, arms crossed. She had her doubts and concerns about making the announcement. 'It's too soon,' she had said.

Sara couldn't bring herself to care that much.

Suvi and Kallo were the last to arrive and everyone on the Tempest was watching Sara.

Liam chirped, ever so helpfully, "So, what's up, oh, fearless leader?"

"I have an announcement." Sara paused, cleared her throat. It felt like her child was doing backflips inside of her stomach.

"A month ago, I received some news. I have kept it under wraps until now, telling only a very few people until now. But today I am prepared to share it."

Paused, cleared her throat again. She wished she had water nearby.

The rest of the crew looked confused, concerned. And really, after all of the events with the kett and the Archon, she wouldn't blame them. For all they knew, she could be about to announce that she was dying or the galaxy was two steps away from ending again or something.

Shit. Her courage was evaporating again.

Jaal looked like he was going to step in at any moment, either to announce it or perhaps even lie to save her skin.

"I'm pregnant."

There was a silence for a moment, minds whirling at the same time, processing the same tiny, huge sentence.

Then all hell broke loose.

Suvi made a high-pitched squeak into her hands as Kallo whooped, thumping her on the back.

"You're _what_?!" Cora gasped, eyes almost popping out of her head.

"I knew it!" Vetra yelled, turning to Peebee. Peebee looked exasperated as she dug into her pockets for payment for an apparent bet.

"You're telling us there's a _baby_ right there, right now?" Liam asked, pointing at Sara's stomach.

Sara patted her stomach with a nod.

"Huh, well I'll be damned," Drack grunted, "Thought something smelled funny about you, kid."

Eventually, after more shoulder-pats and enthusiastic hugs than Sara could count, the din died down.

Sara had the floor again and her courage was back. Nobody was outwardly upset about this, from what she could see. So, she could carry on.

"We don't know what's going to happen next, as I am Pathfinder," she said, "That is something we will need to figure out as the pregnancy progresses."

"As long as Sara and our child are safe," Jaal interjected.

In the blink of an eye, the attention was on him, as if everyone had forgotten the question of who Sara was having the child with. Of course, everyone knew they were together and were sexually active. But human-angara compatibility was never discussed or really considered as an issue.

"Jaal, you're the dad?" Cora asked.

Jaal puffed up with pride. "I am. And I couldn't be happier."

That was another fact that everyone seemed to process.

"Here's to the proud parents! And to the _Tempest_ baby!" Gil shouted.

Sara's eyes found him still in the back of the meeting area, though he had inched closer to Lexi. He was smiling and he looked like he was about to cry.

Loud cheers and laughter filled the _Tempest_ in response.

Sara laughed with them, tucking herself close to Jaal, her vision dissolving in happy tears.

…

 **The end.**

 **Just kidding, we're just getting started.**

 **All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Come say hi at my tumblr tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


	7. Alliance

**NO IT HASN'T BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE I UPDATED**

 **Anyway, ahem, yes I am back. Unfortunately, I got *super* distracted with school and work and then just work. And life in general.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who commented and all that good stuff I really appreciate it :D**

 **Enjoy!**

…

Tann looked like he was going to pop several blood vessels in the little roundtable discussion among him and the four Pathfinders.

Avitus was outright gleeful, as were Raeka and Vederia.

"A very irresponsible move, in my opinion, Ryder," Tann started as the greetings and congratulations ended.

Well, that was one way to start a meeting. Sara refused to puff up in defensiveness, though every fiber of her being wanted to. Instead, she smiled. "What? The getting pregnant thing or the telling everyone in Heleus thing?" she asked.

"Both."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to spin this so it's for the benefit of the Initiative," she said sweetly.

"It will do something to show unity between Andromeda and the Initiative," Raeka added.

Avitus scoffed under his breath. "As if fighting together against an existential threat didn't do the trick."

"Well, I think it's wonderful," Vederia exclaimed. "And I am curious if asari can also breed with the angara."

'Breed' sounded very clinical, like they were talking about animals. Sure, Jaal had fucked her like they were wild animals and that was what caused the pregnancy, but that was beside the point.

"I can have Dr. T'Perro forward her notes to the Nexus," Sara said, knowing that Lexi would at least redact some of the more personal notes before sending them. "It's not as simple as just having unprotected sex."

Peebee had expressed ultimately fake interest in Jaal during the beginnings of Sara and Jaal's relationship, making comments in a similar vein. It had been a joke at the time, but now it was very real.

Tann spoke up again, "Ah yes. Yet you still didn't take the appropriate precautions. If not pregnancy, the risk of disease shouldn't have been overlooked."

Sara replied, smile not reaching her eyes, "My apologies if I didn't have my sexual activities logged and approved by the Initiative."

Raeka tittered softly while Tann sighed.

"Well, undoing it, I already know, is out of the question, so I'm not going to even bring it up."

Maybe he didn't realize what he had said, but all conversation froze instantly, save for a tiny audible intake of breath that Sara couldn't attribute to anyone.

Sara just stood in shock as the three Pathfinders exploded in anger around her, in her defense.

"Of course, she's not going to _undo_ it! What kind of question is that?" Raeka yelled the loudest over the two others.

Sara let Tann's words and the words between the lines sink in. Really? He went there? She couldn't even be that surprised but still.

"Look at that, you upset her!" Vederia snapped. "Good thing we aren't in the same ship right now or I'd punt you across Meridian."

Oh. Her face had twisted in pain and she didn't even realize it. And were those tears leaking down her face?

"I—," Sara started, not sure if she was going to pile on top of Tann or try to downplay his words.

Avitus made the decision for her. "This call is over, Tann. Please, remove yourself."

Tann looked like he was going to protest, apparently it was in his very nature. His image leaned forward. His image blipped out, leaving the four Pathfinders alone.

Sara immediately sagged a bit and rubbed her face with her hands, sighing. She wasn't crying, she hadn't gotten to the hormonally-emotional stage of her pregnancy. Okay, maybe her eyes stung a little.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"By the Goddess, the nerve on that man," Vederia hissed.

Sara was quiet as the other two Pathfinders murmured in agreement. Something told her he wasn't the only one who would have the same opinion as he. And they were probably more likely to give her the crueler, uncensored version of their opinions.

And then, well, she wouldn't know what she could do. Besides kill the offender and that wasn't exactly feasible or legal.

"Can we move on?" she pled softly.

She really didn't want to dwell on this too long. Before she started crying or turned the _Tempest_ towards Meridian to sic her crew on Tann.

Vederia started, "Do you know what you're going to do next?"

Sara shrugged. That wasn't exactly what she wanted to talk about either.

"I'm sure arrangements will need to be made eventually. I won't be able to do much when my stomach is stretched a mile."

"And we wouldn't want you to put your baby at risk either."

Sara nodded, sighing. "I'm honestly not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I still have work to do. I don't want to give up my position just yet."

Her pride was too strong and also, why should she have to leave her position as Pathfinder the moment she became pregnant anyway? Alec would've been disappointed if she had given up her position so easily.

He would have been disappointed in general, but she wasn't going to prod at those thoughts too hard.

"I'm sure there will be cause for celebration, whether Tann likes it or not," Vederia insisted.

Sara shook her head. Time to change the subject, again. Were all of her conversations going to be about her baby for the foreseeable future?

"How goes tracking down the rest of the turians, Avitus?"

"We have had some progress," Avitus said."We found two dozen stranded on a moon a few days ago."

"I'm glad to hear it."

His mandibles clicked softly. "They were mostly civilians, all of them malnourished. It's a miracle they survived."

It was good news. They needed more and more miracles at this point, though so far things were turning up.

The kett were less of a problem with the exception of small pockets that didn't go down with the whole of them in the Battle for Meridian. The Initiative had Meridian, slowly recuperating their forces, and weren't waging war with the angara.

The four Pathfinders just needed to stay alive and united and in theory things would be fine.

They just had the juggle the survival of their species and the fragile peace they had found in Heleus.

And all Sara had to do was grow a baby inside her and not die or go insane in the process.

…

"How did the meeting go?"

Sara bit her lip, unable to look Jaal in the eye.

"Ah, it went fine."

The lie felt like acid on her tongue, but what could she say to him? If she told him the truth, Jaal would make a beeline to beat Tann bloody. She couldn't have the father of her child in prison for murder before she could even give birth.

Jaal stepped closer, bringing her into his arms.

"I have a feeling that isn't the truth, darling one."

She wrapped one arm around his waist and rested the other on her stomach. Her entire world, in her hands.

Maybe she wasn't at the overly-emotional part of her pregnancy, but she was at the overly-cheesy part.

"Marry me," she said.

Jaal stiffened, blinked at her. "Um, dearest, I believe my translator may be malfunctioning."

The words had left her mouth before she could check them. She had played around with the idea since the pregnancy started, but never voiced it to anyone, not even SAM.

She could get away with saying that the translator wasn't working and save the question for another time. And yet…she didn't want to.

"No, it's right. Marry me."

They slowly rocked in place, dancing to music neither of them could hear.

"It doesn't have to be anything elaborate," she continued. "Just a few witnesses, we sign the papers, and we're officially married. At least it will be on paper."

Jaal was still quiet and Sara internally panicked.

"We can still have a ceremony and everything! Just, later. Once things start settling down."

Fuck, that was inelegant.

Finally, Jaal spoke up. "You want to be my wife?"

Sara blushed, burying her face into his chest. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth, choking her words before they could come to existence.

"Sara?"

"I—yes. I want you be my husband and I want to be your wife."

The hands around her waist tightened just a little, Jaal's face landing in her hair.

"Good. I was thinking about how to ask you."

"You were?"

"Of course. I've been thinking about it for months."

Sara felt her face burning and tears filled her eyes. It was almost blinding.

"I'm glad."

He rubbed her back softly.

"When would you like to have the ceremony?"

Sara shook her head. "I don't know. We still need to visit your mom."

It wouldn't be just to visit the doctor now. It would also be for Sara to ask for permission to marry her son.

They weren't too far from Havarl, but it would be a bit of a trip to get there. And from there, she couldn't help but be a bit worried at the idea of going to a place still harboring the Roekkar.

Jaal's hometown had flushed the group out and they should be safe. There was still that sense of fear, now that everyone in the galaxy knew about the pregnancy. The _Tempest_ wasn't exactly a subtle ship. When it came to port, everyone knew about it. The Nexus had tabs on them and who knew what kind of insiders could be leaking information?

"She will love to see us, as with the rest of my family. Our child will be loved."

She didn't doubt that at all. The moment she had stepped into the home, she was immediately accepted into the family. She hadn't even gotten together with Jaal yet and already they were accepting of her.

Perhaps Jaal had hyped her up before she had arrived, but still.

Their child surely would be accepted as well. The child would be a stranger species-wise but so was Sara.

"We should also start thinking about where we'll live after our baby is born."

She could imagine a crib in her quarters but it felt wrong. It wasn't like she grew up rooted in one place. Scott and Sara had been bounced around from outpost to outpost while Alec was an N7, sometimes settling for months and years at a time before Sara got her break with researching the Prothean.

She didn't want that for her child. She wanted her child to have a steady home to grow up in.

It could only be as constant as living in Heleus could be, along with the threat of war. The Archon was dead, but not all of his minions.

"It seems too far away," Jaal murmured. "Your stomach is still so small."

She tried to chase away the dark thoughts by burying her face into Jaal's chest, inhaling his perfumed skin.

"And then the next moment I'll be in labor."

He hummed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"There is always room on Havarl. Now that the vault has been activated, they can build more homes."

Twisted animals and thick forests and radical groups. That was the Havarl she was used to. She hadn't been back since the vault had been activated, but she had to take Jaal's word for it.

"We'll send word to the Nexus that were changing course. Tann is on my bad side, so hopefully Kesh answers."

…

When Sara left her room, she could hear voices. Peebee and Drack stood in the small space, deep in conversation.

"I'm just scared I'll break it," Peebee muttered.

A deep laugh from Drack. "We krogan already know to treat our young gently," Drack rumbled in reply. "But krogan babies are tough. This baby will be a ball of squishy."

Sara distinctly remembered Drack cradling Kesh's babies like they were fine porcelain or live dynamite. She knew she could trust Drack with her child's life.

"I've never been one to want kids. I'll just be the crazy aunt."

"As long as you don't strap the baby on Poc, we'll be fine," Sara said, stepping to the conversation.

That would probably be funny for all of 5 seconds before it got dangerous and Sara would start yelling.

"Ah, there's our baby mama and our fearless leader!" Peebee exclaimed.

Sara grinned, glad that the friendly camaraderie hadn't seeped out since her announcement. She was pregnant, not an entirely different person. "I was just going to go tell Suvi and Kallo that we're heading to Havarl."

"Oh, why?" Peebee asked, genuinely confused.

Sara blinked at the question. "I should probably see a doctor, right? An angara doctor?"

Peebee puffed her cheeks, crossing her arms. "Wow, so Lexi isn't enough for you?"

Sara honestly couldn't tell if Peebee was being serious or pretending to be offended. She bet on the former. "She's a Milky Way doctor," Sara sighed, "Sure, she knows enough about Jaal to treat him, but she doesn't know angara babies."

"This isn't an angara baby."

"Not a human baby, either."

"But, it's _inside_ a human."

Drack crossed his arms, interrupting, "It's a smart move, kid. Kesh was very careful with her clutch. You should do the same."

Sara was grateful for the vote of confidence, albeit from an unlikely source, but it made sense. Drack, though he was gristled and prickly, was a family man in his own way. "What would you do if you were in my position, Drack?"

"If I were you, I would make myself a permanent patient at whatever Heleus hospital can take you. Obvious, ain't gonna happen. I'd go stir-crazy and so would you."

Sara couldn't imagine herself being confined to anywhere, much less a hospital. No, she would spend her pregnancy doing things.

"Okay, Plan B?"

"See the doctors. Hear what they have to say. It's your decision in the end what you do."

It was good advice, not exactly comforting. An open-ended answer wasn't something that she really wanted but it was something she had to expect.

Nobody had half-human, half-angara babies. They were in uncharted waters and what Sara did or didn't do would have unforeseen consequences.

"Right," Sara muttered, nodding.

"I don't wanna go to Havarl again," Peebee whined, "Forests are boring. I want to see already-dead things."

"Well, get over it, _kid_ ," Drack sniffed.

Sara left them as they began to argue over their respective ages.

Peebee was technically a kid in relation to Drack, but she definitely took offense to the insinuation.

The bridge opened up and she could see there was a sizeable amount of emails for her to answer.

"I can send an automated response for you, Pathfinder," SAM said over their private connection.

"Please."

There weren't enough hours in the day to field all the junk that floated in her email, especially now that the shock of pregnancy was wearing off and the need to start moving was gnawing at her.

"Pathfinder, off to a new adventure?" Kallo greeted as she entered the bridge.

Sara nodded. "Well, I think we've been on a new adventure since I conceived, but yes."

"Where are we heading?" Kallo asked.

"Havarl. I need to see angara doctors."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Or at least, I want to make sure nothing is wrong."

Suvi nodded. "Good call. Does the rest of the crew know?"

Right, she probably should've sent emails to the rest of crew to make sure they knew why they were moving. Oops. Jaal and Drack and Peebee could spread the word.

"Pregnancy brain?" Suvi suggested.

That was a thing? "Sure. I'll send a message once we get underway."

"We have enough fuel to get us there, Pathfinder," Kallo chimed in

"Good. I've already sent word to the Nexus, but we aren't gonna wait for them to respond one way or the other. Let's go."

It was out of paranoia, more than anything. She couldn't be 100% sure that Tann wouldn't try something, though it was highly unlikely that he would. Attempting to tamper with the human Pathfinder would be one way to get completely deposed from Nexus leadership.

The engine hum was almost deafening as the ship changed trajectory and started towards its destination.

"I'm so excited to meet the baby," Suvi mused. "It's something like a miracle that this happened, eh?"

Sara couldn't help but glance down at her stomach. A living ball of mush would grow to something with two arms and two legs and eyes and a heart and a personality.

"Yeah, you're right."

…

 **Hopefully, the next time I update it won't be 11 months later…**

 **All feedback is appreciated!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


End file.
